Walk in faith, not by sight. Blind faith. Psshh. I hope yall know that doesnt mean to just follow what someone tells you and to have faith in it. Thats not what God wants from you. Ive never heard a pastor encourage the active pursuit of God. I mean seriously, dont we all need to see to belIEve?! Go get your proof. Obey his instructions, submit your will and KNOW that God exists. Its that easy!
I can tell yall dont belIEve. O ye of little faith. Smh. Theres a visible difference between confessing one's faith and the ascertion of one's true belIEfs. And that is because faith in the divine sense is rooted in CERTAINTY. And once you're certain of something it is damn near impossible to live in contrary of that truth....to me. A truth is, fire is hot. I live my life in fear (respect and reverence) of that heat because I KNOW what the penalty is when I dont. If you TRULY belIEve in God's laws, why is it so hard for you to live within those parameters? I bet you dont test the law of gravity daily, do you. Thought not. Smh.
Now, scripture tells us we shall only have the faith of a mustard seed to move a mountain. A mustard seed is tiny, very tiny. That lets us know that faith (remember this means CERTAINTY) is not the easIEst thing to obtain. It is a difficult thing to belIEve for real for real. It is not required that you have a mountain of hope, which is what most people's faith reeeally is. Just give God a mustard seed amount of pure, true, genuine, authentic, sure, understood, accepted, acknowledged conviction. God should be a fact. God is saying "know my truth fully" and whatever you seek you shall find; all wants will be satisfIEd. But you have to be doubtless!! You must do what it takes to convince yourself that there is no alternative but to belIEve. Then you might get your mustard seed.
I was very close with someone who attended church, sent scripture through emails and always answered "blessed" when asked how she was doing. Yet she is the most troubled spirit I have ever encountered. There is an uneasiness in her that has been unsettling for the duration of our acquaintance. She would probably argue me to death but I can guarantee she doesn't belIEve. Maybe she does not know how to get to her truth, maybe shes comfortable with just going through the motions, but I have no doubts that she has not let go and let God. I KNOW it is not possible to let small demons affect you when you have been granted the power and authority to defeat them. Whats an ant to a soldIEr? Cmon now! One can not be stressed if you KNOW that its going to be ok. Can you? NO! Jeezus, most of this is logic! How can you fear something that you KNOW can not hurt you? Oh, because you are not CERTAIN.
Those who know me know Im not churchy or biblical. Ive dismissed those feelings of absence as I sought my truth. I went the long way to God. I grew up in church. Choir, bible study, the whole shabang, dont test my trivia homIE! Then I began reading books on philosophy, history, the brain/mind, metaphysics, paranormal abilitIEs, spirituality, and death and began having doubts. Somethings did not connect within my frame and vIEw on common sense. I continued to read and expose myself to various influences seeking to gain perspective while avoiding sermons. I found my God. He already knew me, though. He knew that I would come find out what His purpose is for me. So I have attended church for the past four weeks. And Ive submitted and can say I actually KNOW that God is working. No, hes not pulling strings. He wove the universe's tapestry a long time ago and gave us the choice to be happy in this perfect chaos or a loose thread not included in the masterpIEce.
It slightly saddens me when "belIEvers" are negative, pessimistic, burdened, and feeling defeated. It lets me see and those demons see that their faith is weak; their CERTAINTY has faltered. Something is not working. What instructions are you reading? Where did you stray in the recipe? I got my peace. Why do I feel this amazing? We know its not because Im luckIEr or in a better position in life. Haha, I wish!! I KNOW Im favored because Ive received the confirmation. I got the results if you need to see the proof. Life throws curveballs and we will all experIEnce pebbles and boulders on our path but we can not allow a circumstance to dictate what we KNOW. Obey the plan, become convinced. God is worth your certainty.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Poor Him
She makes him want to write a poem. Poor him.
Wants to take a shot of love with noone to pour em.
So many words to say but not enough forum.
If she reads it once, thats enough for him.
Can a Monster reeeally change his decorum?
Or will he be alone until he sees postmortem?
She makes him want to write a poem. Po' him.
The old him sees the new him- doesn't know him.
Fate will have her stripping down to show him- HER.
So he's not lookin for a towel he can throw in.
The line he dares to tread is getting so thin
and it leads to a mindset in stone that wont bend...
Wants to take a shot of love with noone to pour em.
So many words to say but not enough forum.
If she reads it once, thats enough for him.
Can a Monster reeeally change his decorum?
Or will he be alone until he sees postmortem?
She makes him want to write a poem. Po' him.
The old him sees the new him- doesn't know him.
Fate will have her stripping down to show him- HER.
So he's not lookin for a towel he can throw in.
The line he dares to tread is getting so thin
and it leads to a mindset in stone that wont bend...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Crack Baby's Dream
Every dream is like the day of a fIEnd.
When you see 'im he sways and he leans,
thinkin' of ways he can scheme
and in the same scene prays to be clean.
Wishin' he could play as a teen;
drop into school and play on a team
but he's raised to be mean.
Erased as a man.
Genetics landed him the face of his dad
not the face of a man.
He's chasing the man
with the base in his hand.
Heart pounding like the bass in a band.
He waits in the stands, the place for the fans.
He's the fan base. He stays for a damn taste
that he can't taste.
He's on track but he can't race.
Stands in place to feel pain like canned mace.
And canned milk is like canned piss.
And the dampness of his pants pissed
is nothing 'cause that high is a can't miss.
And he rides it... no ramp miss.
Lands it but still blacks out like a lamp twist.
No brother's hug or aunt kiss.
Just the love of drugs
and less love than an ant kiss.
When you see 'im he sways and he leans,
thinkin' of ways he can scheme
and in the same scene prays to be clean.
Wishin' he could play as a teen;
drop into school and play on a team
but he's raised to be mean.
Erased as a man.
Genetics landed him the face of his dad
not the face of a man.
He's chasing the man
with the base in his hand.
Heart pounding like the bass in a band.
He waits in the stands, the place for the fans.
He's the fan base. He stays for a damn taste
that he can't taste.
He's on track but he can't race.
Stands in place to feel pain like canned mace.
And canned milk is like canned piss.
And the dampness of his pants pissed
is nothing 'cause that high is a can't miss.
And he rides it... no ramp miss.
Lands it but still blacks out like a lamp twist.
No brother's hug or aunt kiss.
Just the love of drugs
and less love than an ant kiss.
You Are Beautiful
Look up.
Smile at yourself the way you smile at me.
Did you melt? I do.
In my eyes there are no flaws,
just traits to go behind "perfect".
If I were your ego I'd multipy.
I'd let the entire world know I love myself.
Pretty lady, pursed lips.
Stunning sister, sweet smell.
You are for me. All and none.
Im sorry for them, Im sorry for him.
Can I make it up to you?
We have forever and I have plenty of ideas.
Look up.
That is exactly where you are headed.
Limits can not hold you
and "can't" is disappearing behind you.
Release yourself from those chains
and be beautiful.
Smile at yourself the way you smile at me.
Did you melt? I do.
In my eyes there are no flaws,
just traits to go behind "perfect".
If I were your ego I'd multipy.
I'd let the entire world know I love myself.
Pretty lady, pursed lips.
Stunning sister, sweet smell.
You are for me. All and none.
Im sorry for them, Im sorry for him.
Can I make it up to you?
We have forever and I have plenty of ideas.
Look up.
That is exactly where you are headed.
Limits can not hold you
and "can't" is disappearing behind you.
Release yourself from those chains
and be beautiful.
Fight For Me
No rectangle
of stars and stripes
will warrant the bruises
and scars from fights.
I'd rather be beat up
in a bar by dykes,
or walk with no shoes
hella far at night.
So the Navy will choose
to recruit you next.
A new face in the masses
of true blue vets.
And maybe they'll persuade me
to shoot through chests.
Lady Liberty's crazy and made me
fly over the cuckoo's nest.
But I won't land
in a foreign and scary land.
I'd rather have no hands
than be a military man.
I'd rather be a flamin,
merry fag and marry man.
The president is banned;
I'm taking a wary stand.
I'll be a real live "King"
better than Larry can.
See if you can sit through
sixty minutes of truth.
Flags at half-mast,
sixty men to salute.
Sixty women to boot?
Naw, that ain't fair.
Everyone can dIE for Me,
shit, I don't care!
of stars and stripes
will warrant the bruises
and scars from fights.
I'd rather be beat up
in a bar by dykes,
or walk with no shoes
hella far at night.
So the Navy will choose
to recruit you next.
A new face in the masses
of true blue vets.
And maybe they'll persuade me
to shoot through chests.
Lady Liberty's crazy and made me
fly over the cuckoo's nest.
But I won't land
in a foreign and scary land.
I'd rather have no hands
than be a military man.
I'd rather be a flamin,
merry fag and marry man.
The president is banned;
I'm taking a wary stand.
I'll be a real live "King"
better than Larry can.
See if you can sit through
sixty minutes of truth.
Flags at half-mast,
sixty men to salute.
Sixty women to boot?
Naw, that ain't fair.
Everyone can dIE for Me,
shit, I don't care!
I Decided to Pray
Last night I decided to pray
because I had a hell of a day.
I prayed for my closest
of family and frIEnds.
And the continuous focus
on these means to an end.
I prayed for my heart and the hole in it.
I prayed for my body and the soul in it.
I drowned my stresses by drinking harder.
But I was a mess and began sinking farther.
I prayed because I lIEd and cheated.
I need it because my life's defeated.
I seek the forgiveness and inner peace
to sit with God, and eat a dinner feast
with a thIEf's hands and sinner's teeth.
I prayed because prayer works.
I prayed because I should have prayed first.
because I had a hell of a day.
I prayed for my closest
of family and frIEnds.
And the continuous focus
on these means to an end.
I prayed for my heart and the hole in it.
I prayed for my body and the soul in it.
I drowned my stresses by drinking harder.
But I was a mess and began sinking farther.
I prayed because I lIEd and cheated.
I need it because my life's defeated.
I seek the forgiveness and inner peace
to sit with God, and eat a dinner feast
with a thIEf's hands and sinner's teeth.
I prayed because prayer works.
I prayed because I should have prayed first.
Unreal Wish
I find myself with you
when Im lost in my thoughts.
And more often than not,
we're laughing.
While still moments are passing
and the time for this day dream to be over
comes closer and closer.
I wish it had never start.
There'd be no pain if we ever part.
Yet love can have no better start;
when our paths intersect
at heaven's heart and sinner's sex.
Embraced in winter and it's the best!
Like number one.
Intense 'til summer's done,
then I fall into my kneel.
It feels so real though it's surreal.
How can the present deal such a miscue?
Me being alone, wishing I could kiss you.
when Im lost in my thoughts.
And more often than not,
we're laughing.
While still moments are passing
and the time for this day dream to be over
comes closer and closer.
I wish it had never start.
There'd be no pain if we ever part.
Yet love can have no better start;
when our paths intersect
at heaven's heart and sinner's sex.
Embraced in winter and it's the best!
Like number one.
Intense 'til summer's done,
then I fall into my kneel.
It feels so real though it's surreal.
How can the present deal such a miscue?
Me being alone, wishing I could kiss you.
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